Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Life stopped short.
Sunday was my 21st.
Sunday was the day that the five of them were found.
Sunday was the day that our deepest fears were confirmed.
Five young souls.
Just when they almost got through the prologue of their lives,
and were about to move on to the best parts..
Everything stopped.
just like stories that are unfinished.
They can no longer be the main characters in their stories.
They can no longer be the main characters in stories they had created with and for other people.
For a moment.
I felt how blessed I am to be 21.
To be able to continue my own story unlike them.
To still be able to do the things that i dream about in my life.
To still be able to tell my parents how much I love them.
To still be able to tell my brothers how they have been such a joy in my life.
To still be able to tell my friends how thankful i am that they have always been there for me.
To still be able to row my hearts out with my teammates.
To still be able to do dragon boating.
To still be able to feel the sun on my face when i wake up.
To still be able to feel the breeze.
To still be able to see the stars in the sky.
To still be able to smile.
To still be able to cry.
To still be able to love.
And to still be able to..
Be present.
But for them, they can't.
Five of them.
I never had a chance to know them personally.
but have seen them around during trainings.
The thought of not being able to see them around again.
it hurts.
Though we all came from different teams, but we all know how tough dragon boating is.
We overcome our deepest fears.
We fight really hard for what we want so badly.
we are willing to sacrifice just to be in this sport.
That's how tough we are.
But the truth is it is even tougher to be in the national team.
And I always respect and admire them.
It hurts to know that they all fight so hard for what they want but this is how it ended.
It hurts to know that the next time I am at SDBA, I won't get to see the five of them again.
It hurts to know that somehow we will be missing five teammates, five comrades.
It hurts to know or even think about the last few moments of them in the murky waters.
To think about what went through their minds.
swallowing, choking..
Even with their last breath, they probably be fighting hard too.
Fighting and struggling to stay alive.
Because they know they still have so much that they want to do.
But they still didn't make it back.
Because I have struggled in water before, I know how much it hurts.
How badly you just want to stay alive,
just to breathe.
I cried reading the papers, reading their blogs.
Not because we have lost 5 good people.
But because I saw my reflection in them.
There are so much things they had wanted to do and I do too.
But yet they weren't given the chance they deserved.
But I am.
and I turned 21.
Their lifes might have stopped short.
But chapters of their stories are sealed in the memories of many people.
And for us, today we live again.
I am thankful for them for the present and presence that they have given me for my 21.
I have never thought so deep about my own life, my dreams and about making my dreams come true.
They have given me a gift of courage to live my life.
And I will hold on dearly to that.
Thank you all so much.
I am so blessed to be 21. - chaota
.CHAOTA-FIED.
