Thursday, September 28, 2006
continued... 
he still couldn't solve the clues.. so had to kiss some of my teammates in exchange*jealous* hahaha
And my captain too.. :P
he managed to get it in the end!
Destination was actually his home. my cookings. hohoho..
forgot to take pictures though at his home. hee.. but it's ok as long as he had fun!
closing the chapter.
-chaotaGirl-
.CHAOTA-FIED.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Mission 220906 - well received.
Director cum producer: ChaotaGirl
Actors: MrFishy & Frens
At 10am sharp, the camera started rolling. First thing he had to do was to wear this tag that says"my name is audy. wish me happy birthday." mae made him wear that to get the first envelope containing an alphabet.
then he had to solve this chess thing set by sebes. can see that he is quite focus. rare sight. hahaha :D
From perlyn he has to hop around the numbers to get the numbers that lead him to this page in a book where the envelope is inserted.
can't rem what melvin asked him to do.. he had to solve something aso.. i wan that piece of brownie too! :P
then he has to solves this binary code from mae again ( which is actually a detour from zhang) it is supppsed to lead him to zhang's locker. hehe.. 
Then it's my teammates turn! if you have seen my msn nick yesterday nite, i wrote:" gosh, that was such a turn on" hahaha yup. it's meant for this pic and this other pic which is censored. hehe.. by the way, this is taken at Frujch in our school.
he is supposed to shout 'i luv weiling' for 5 times.
to be continued...
.CHAOTA-FIED.
sitting alone outside pick and bite..
sometimes it feels funny to be alone.
or maybe it's when you are alone then it feels funny to be alone.
As for me.
Being alone is like a reward to myself.
you will then learn to appreciate the occasional breeze that passes by..
and not being immersed in deep conversation.
it gives me time to think about random stuff. even if most of them are of no content.
Maybe the funny part comes in..
when you are just not used to being alone though you tell yourself that it's normal.
sometimes you don't know whether you should get used to it.
But at least i know i enjoy it.
hmmm....
another of my random thoughts among my random thoughts.
zhang just 'popped' by ( i mean literally) and broke my 'alone' status.
quite happie to see her. hehe..
maybe sometimes you can never be alone.
-ChaotaGirl. just off alone mode.-
.CHAOTA-FIED.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
i used to like taking train everywhere i go..
and i still do.
maybe because i just like to observe the way people behave on the train..
look at their shoes ( which is the first thing i will look at - one of my weird habits)
look at their clothes..
look at their accessories..
look at their facial expressions..
look at their body language..
sometimes i get so fascinated during the ride on the train..
like any other days..
i was on the train to school..
but i saw something that made me feel really good throughout the day on the train..felt the urge to blog it..
i am not too sure it was at which stop the guy boarded the train..
and i am not sure when he sat beside me..
but it was only out of the blue i realised this big huge burly guy sitting beside me.
i have to admit sometimes i will fidget 'away' just to sit a bit further away from people like him even if i have to squeeze with the other person next to me..
not that i dun produce any odour but sometimes you just try to avoid smelling others..
and the weather was really hot today.. everyone was like sweating..
jus when i was still evaluating whether i can take the smell..
the guy suddenly stood up.
i was more curious than happy..
like why out of a sudden he stood up coz i think he barely sat down awhile ago..
then i turned my head towards the direction where he was looking at..
there was this really old lady, carrying her bag and plastic bag who just board the train..
she trying to grab hold of the pole and trying to steady herself.
somehow she look so fragile, like she is going to fall anytime soon..
it was only when she sat down at the seat that big burly gave up does she look safe.
felt so proud of this man (:
it's like... how should i describe it..
to think that he actually spontaneously volunteered his seat..
i think people who are sitting closest to the door should feel guilty.. made the old lady walked all the way to the centre of the cabin..
hmm.. i think for certain people.. all i can say is it's time to re-evaluate yourself.
coz this ain't the first time i saw something like that.
-ChaotaGirl.back on track-
making people smile, making myself smile. that's what i live for.
[ was on the way home on the train. a lady sitting opp me changed her seat to the one beside me after a certain stop. i realised the strap on her bag was left on the seat she sat before and she dun seem to realise it's missing from her bag. without thinking, i left my seat, went to the seat opp, took the strap and gave it back to her. and she smiled.sometimes it's so good to make people smile.]
.CHAOTA-FIED.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Fishy Mission.
Status: Completed.
Woohooo!!!
quite happie that it went really well :D
it was a mission for him but a mission for me too.
Since a few months back i was already into this mission *cracking my brains*
( even when i was doing IMF.. hehehe)
But right from the start
i knew mine was to make him really happie..
coz he nv did really celebrate it (:
Though i had to made a difficult decision..
but mr fishy. i knew i will never regret it.
coz like what wilson says'certain things have higher priorities'
and i want you to know where you stand
i have always been really busy with school stuff and yet all the time you have been really accomodating..
it's time to let you know that no matter how busy i am, i can put down everything for u (:
Mission 220906 was madness for me.
starting from the time i opened my eyes till now..
first time i went to buy so many groceries..
first time i had aunties helping me to pick nice long french beans..
first time i sat in a taxi.. the driver not knowing where to go but ended up going the right way and i almost ended up giving him the wrong directions.. haha
first time i see someone's parent so enthu abt helping me to keep mum about this operation from her son.. hehee( many thanks to his mum, hope din messed up the kitchen!)
first time i cooked a proper dinner- 4 dishes and a soup.. and i have never tried cooking them before..
first time i cooked at someone's house..
first time i felt so proud of my own cooking.. wahaha coz it turned out to be better than what i anticipated..
first time i did such a big operation.
but it was all worth it!! :D
coz it made him really happie!
thgh i felt like have organised some biggie event.. hehe.. my effort paid off!
thank all those who made it happened too..
mae. sebast. melvin. perlyn. zhang. my dragonboat teammates.
all sabo-ed him like crazy i think.. hahhaa..
i want to see the pics soon too!! too bad i din get to see all the sabo-ing part coz i was busy preparing at his house..
me wan pics k! hahaha..
Mr Fishy.. so happie you enjoyed it!!
Love you always,
- happie fishy. chaotagirl in bliss (X-
(will upload pics from IMF/WB soon!)
next on schedule: meet up with frens soon!
.CHAOTA-FIED.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
认识你的第一天起...
我就认识了快乐和幸福.
-鱼儿-
.CHAOTA-FIED.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
it's a little inexplicable how it's like being in the same "bowl" with someone.
in my case a 'fish bowl'.
imagine there are jus 2 fishes in this bowl..
of coz there are wonderful times where the 2 fishes just laze around..
swim around in the bowl..
make fun of each other..
enjoying each others' company..
but there are also times when the 2 fishes have to face each other.
not literally though.
to others( people outside the bowl observing the 2 fishes),
it may seem like there's conflict between the 2 fishes and a fight is about to begin.
but if you would just take a closer look at them..
they are just about to discover themselves more.
i realised that while there is limited space in the 'bowl',
it's still possible for 2 to occupy.
and what's more incredulous is there's enough space one to give some space for the other.
it's just a matter of choice.
sometimes we thought we have given enough space to the other person and we know for sure that we are not going to take away space from them..
however..
have you ever thought that subconsciously you are slowly taking over his/her space when you enter their comfortable zone?
i must confess that i am guilty for it.
recently. though it wasn't really that a major problem.
but it's always good to work things out when they are still at it's 'budding' stage.
coz you don't want it to evolve into a tree then start to cry over it. hah (:
it's quite silly after you look back and think about it.
i cannot deny that i tried to deny i was wrong too at that time coz all the while i know i am not such person.
And i am still not.
just that sometimes when we stepped into each other's space, we get too comfortable that we forgot that we have to step out too. to retract our steps.
sometimes it's a balance that's hard to achieve like when are we suppose to step back, how much steps do we take?
but i realised it just takes some patience to figure it out. to learn.
to learn about ourselves.. so that the space in the bowl is just right for 2 (X
-Fishy. A random comment.-
.CHAOTA-FIED.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
something's wrong with the school msn..
din wan to believe it when my fren told me until today..
anyway..while waiting for it to connect.. thot i could do a bit of blogging (:
was talking to sarah online the other day..
she says when 2 people get very comfortable with each other, they have a tendency to show their vulnerable side..
hmm.. i guess she jus summed up wad i was tryin to say of figure out in the last entry.
i kind of understand what others used to say a honeymoon period thingy in a relationship..
i used to have doubts in it..
well i still do.. but i am beginning to get what these people are trying to say..
not that they are right.. but either are they wrong..
i always dun like the idea of of believing in this honeymoon period thingy..
coz i feel it seems to sound degrading..
and i still believe that when 2 people get together.. the feeling is still so magical X)
however, like this people i can't find a better word to describe the first few months of a relationship other than 'honeymoon'
or rather i choose not to 'segregate' a relationship into like a timeline thing.
because no one can ever predict what can happen in a relationship.
and i still believe that the magical feeling of being together will still continue regardless of whether it's like months into the relationship or years.
One thing i kind of realised that humans are controlled by their own emotions or even the other way round.
somehow emotions control our actions esp on how we treat other people..
even getting into a relationship it's determined by your emotions. your feelings.
And i trust my feelings alot.
But i also realised that when your emotions or your feelings get better of you, you might have an internal struggle within yourself.
you may even lose your rationality.
Like you know you shouldn't be angry and if you actually look at his/her point of view, they are actually not at fault. but still you choose to remain angry.
Like you know you shouldn't be so stubborn and you could gladly make the first move. but still, you choose to remain stubborn.
Like you know what you are going to do next is going to drive him/her crazy. but still, you choose to remain ignorant.
i think that's when we really lose control of ourselves.
i guess the only way to prevent ourselves from falling into such trap is to really think positive. And hopefully have something to distract yourself.
I didn't realised i fell into the trap too.
luckily it wasn't deep. could still pick myself up before things got out of hand.
But i am not sure if there are others who just keep on falling into it, thinking that they have already gotten out of it but they have not.
sometimes we should not be too bother if situations arises and altered the things that we are so used to having..
sometimes change can just be superficial and not real..
sometimes we just need to be a little bit more patient with ourselves and we can probably still see the rainbow after the rain (:
so glad that i have seen something in me which i need to work on after this small little silly incident.
at least it has made me see much more.
>(((:) happie ChaotaGirl swimming in the ocean once again.
love u.
.CHAOTA-FIED.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
so glad that watershock is the last biggie event that i am going to be involved in since the start of summer hols..
okay.. if u don't include the world bank/ imf thingy which is coming up soon..
created some troubles for most of the smu students..
went for so many trainings..
made me walk to admin block from school at least 3 times.. jus to collect my uniform ><>
i mean i need exercise but i rather run my 21.5km..
which i did :D so proud to say that..
anyway that was like a week ago thingy..
rite now.. flipping through my bright strippy book which has been with me since my last bdae (from jianjie..)
quite scary to see my weekly schedule..
totally packed..
a few days ago i was just telling my fren that i kind of enjoyed my days to be so packed coz he asked if i am tired doing all those stuff...
i always thought at least i am doin sth mah.. work or anything at all and not slacking around..
he replied: wait till week 8 or sth..then probably u will give me a different answer..
had my doubts then..
but hmm..actually don't need to wait that long.. i could feel it already.
at least yesterday..
mentally exhausted chaotagirl..
don't think it's a chaotagirl thing to be..
coz usually i am like on some drugs lidat.. damn high even when i only slept for 3 hours.. like yesterday in the day..
but yesterday.. my energy level after watershock dropped to immediate zero esp after dinner.
think maybe coz i din get proper sleep for the past week.. wasn't in my usual sleping position when i sleep coz i dozed off on my bed either with a book or handphone..
but i must confess i was really tired yesterday after the event..
people say that that's when your mind's like totally blank..
but i don't really agree..
somehow u kind of like start to daydream or think about things that shouldn't have mattered so much and you start to think negatively..
and you just can't resist not to.
and it's true.. now that i have gone through it..
there's really like this internal conflict within myself yesterday.
(wanted to blog about it yesterday night when i got home. but was too lazy to on my lappie.)
it's like this "devil" and "angel" thing..
we all seen it on tv dramas.. like a person having 2 extreme thoughts..
but i realised when u are tired.. the "devil"part gets the better of u.
in other words.. we get more negative.
never felt like this before.. or maybe it's coz of him.
but i had so many questions in my mind that i don't know how to put it across to him..
so i decided to just keep quiet in case i say the wrong things..
but i guess when u just want to be on your own, you tend to be cold towards another person like you just don't feel like talking even if the person beside you is the president or what..
know i shouldn't be this way.. but..
it's like a hungry person is an angry person..
so a tired person is a insensible person..
i don't know how to describe it but that's the best analogy i can give..
somehow u'll think in a way which u know u shouldn't..
things that don't bother u bothers u.
and it's definitely not his fault coz there are some things i have yet to get used to.
jus one of my really really tired days which is rare.
feels so sorrie to him ><
was wondering if i will be the same if i am with other people.
i don't think i will.
coz i think you will only show your real self to people whom you loved.
like u can quarrel like mad with your parents which you probably don't with your friends..
like you can be so nasty to your brothers..
like u can dig your nose at home but you don't do that in front of your friends.. (oh well.. maybe behind their backs? hehehe :P)
like i don't show my tiredness to friends coz tiredness is contagious and i don't want them to feel like me.. that's so negative..
maybe that's why i showed my tiredness to him.
because he is someone that i love and i don't need to hide myself from him.
and he understands why i am so exhausted. hopefully it didn't affect him though.
but i did feel bad after that. hee.. :P
coz he's also tired too after a day and he has to be treated like this by me..
sorrie mr fishy!!
hope i didn't make you feel upset. it's not your problem k..
and i promise i will take care of myself by getting more rest and not be involved in so many stuff..
rite now i need to recharge.. and i want to start rowing!!
miss dragonboat especially after yesterday's watershock..
P.S: if you think how come some parts of this entry dun really link from sentence to sentence, don't worry it's just ChaotaGirl's train of thoughts. usually it never links. hehehe :P
: [ ChaotaGirl blabbering fishy stuff] :
.CHAOTA-FIED.
认识你的第一天起...