Friday, November 24, 2006
sometimes i jus wonder how strong this chaotagirl is..
how not to let ur emotions and feelings go wild with your thoughts..
sometimes i jus wonder whether chaotagirl's thoughts can sometimes be considered rationale..
but does it have to be rationale all the time.. like ALL THE TIME?
can we give ourselves just a tiny winy bit of leeway just to go with our feelings..?
even though at times you may not know where it comes from and why u feel this way.
you wish you knew.
i know i am not one who can control how i feel or what i am feeling.
maybe i could but not all the times.
maybe i think too much some might say. but well... who doesn't think rite?
just a matter of whether you let your thoughts engulfed you. or you just have that courage to let it go.
the fear of letting it go.
because you don't know if it will come back to you again once you set your thoughts free.
sometimes you rather be in control so that it wouldn't hurt so much.
but still. it hurts.
to me.. worst thoughts are those you don't know where it comes from.
like you wish you knew.
because you want to know how to stop it and the only way is to know where it's from.
sometimes your thoughts get so overwhelming.
that you just have to say it out.
and the weirdest thing is the feeling fades off the next morning you woke up.
and you will start thinking why did you ever had such thoughts.
thoughts that should never ever be set upon.
then it set off another trend of thoughts.
think positive. can i?
just wish i can do that before i start telling my 'bro' what i feel.
or before i start telling him what i feel.
sometimes i dun know if it's ok to just say what i think.
it seems wrong.
but aren't we suppose to be true to ourselves?
hmmm...
i think if a person is true to you, he/she will understand even if what you think may not sound right to them.
so i wouldn't try so hard to explain myself anymore.
gets a bit tiring.
been a little tired lately.
even though i have a lot of things to say, to share.
but sometimes you jus don't feel like saying it out.
gets tiring when you feel like you are the one doing the talking. like most of the time.
like when you are the one always giving.
though usually it's something that i can't help it.
not that you expect something in return.
but you just expect at least that bit of effort from the other.
to KNOW that it's worth your effort.
is that too much? hmm.
just another random thought.
-chaotaGirl wish to be chaotaGirl so much again-
.CHAOTA-FIED.
